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Jenny Good began writing professionally in 2005, offering career- and life-coaching advice online.
Good has a technical degree in early childhood education and studied career coaching through Re Career, Inc.
On a weekday at 3pm I put out a Facebook call for anonymous married men to answer 20 random questions on my blog.
Apparently that’s a common time for guys to slack off at work because I was inundated with responses.
An anonymous woman shares that she has engaged in romantic relationships with three married men, but keeps her love life completely private from her friends, family, and social circles.“I do not consider myself a ‘home wrecker’ or even ‘the other woman,’ though those are the common names for women like me,” she says. (Besides gay men, of course, but that gets tricky.) There is more of a chase aspect with trying to date a married man than there is with trying to date a single guy.“More importantly, even when you are dating the married man, you’re still not entirely with him. Your actions together are also considered taboo – so there is a thrill in knowing you are being secretive and cannot get caught.”The anonymous woman adds, “Unlike some women who date married men, my biggest fear is if they ever say they want to leave their wife.
Part of the reason I date married men is because there is a lack of commitment.
Here are the first three guys who agreed to be interviewed.
I think this is a pretty good window into the unfiltered mind of the married man. I introduce you to the Newlywed (try not to rain on his parade, he is in the honeymoon stage after what seems to have been a bad first marriage) who sounds a little ADHD in a lovable way, The Conflicted Guy (not that happy in his 16 year marriage but trying to make a go of it) who sounds like he is a little depressive in a lovable way (but get some therapy, it could help!
In many ways, he’s right: Never-married heterosexual men over the age of 40 have always had a stigma. (A lot of gay men, yes, but also a lot of straight dudes who care more about their triathlon training than tying the knot.) “The guys over 40 I’ve dated all have the Peter Pan complex,” she says. Worse: Many still have roommates and wear backpacks. “There are always exceptions.”Even, apparently, in New York City, another hub of never-marrieds.
Especially back in 1970, when they represented only 4.9 percent of the male population. Unless, of course, the perpetual bachelor is George Clooney — and let’s be honest, most aren’t. Anyone with salt-and-pepper hair who shows up in your online matches as “Never Married” might as well come with a flashing Warning Sign, say women with marital aspirations who date them anyway. A physician named Amy says she was “totally wary” of her now-husband, who was 42 when they first met.
They may have the same interests as you, they may be involved in the same activities, clubs, or sports teams. The difference typically tends to be in the way these women think and react emotionally.
Women who go after married men may not act or look any different at all from those who steer clear of other women’s men. Words of Reasoning from a Real-Life Woman Who’s Dated Married Men As for the why, it seems that several reasons exist behind these women’s decisions to pursue other women’s husbands. Women always want what they can’t have, and married men are about as off-the-market as you can get.
But I wondered: As marriage inches toward the take-it-or-leave-it category — for both sexes — and there are more never-married men between the ages of 40 and 44 than ever before (20.4 percent at last census count), is being a perpetual (hetero) bachelor still considered a little … “You can always judge a guy by what’s in his refrigerator,” she says.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating